“I need to read alot now,
I have lost my skills,
Never thought that i will suffer from these types of things,
I need to read in order to write,
I need to write in order to feel,
I need to feel in order to live.”
These thoughts are shoved down deep in my head and are sheltered there,
I seek help as I cut myself in half to pinch out the fierce pieces of glass that she left,
These are my last days digging my grave so I might take a nap too in it.
I’ve been sad before,
Because i always expected more,
But this sadness has something mysterious about it,
It keeps crawling in my bed,
But the bed is short enough for it to settle,
So it found a place into my head where it found my dreams to fed,
My eyes are Blackened,
Even the Eternal Morning Sunshine is threatened,
It’s reaching for my heart,
Trying to blow the heat I’ve left,
Trying to end the living part and all the secrets will be known which were sealed and kept,
It makes me burn from the core,
And makes me wanna die more,
I can clearly see the demons standing quietly,
Waiting for me to close my eyes slightly,
So it can walk away and find another one who is willing to die,
Maybe hell was the only place which was always mine.
Two men in a room, both equally opposite,
One with all good thoughts, helping, pleasing, supporting, respected, lover.
Other with all the bad thoughts, killing, depression, maniac, tornado of sadness, morose, madman.
They both always left the room on conditions outside,
If outside felt clemensing then the superior was out,
If it sensed threating and harsh the inferior was out.
They both used to go out and followed exact each others schedule,
Drift around, take a look at the surrounding and met their friend Johnny, who knew them since past 10 years,
They always met at the same place where no one else can see them, just them.
He shared his problems with them and they enlightened him to the strategy of getting off with it.
Obviously they both had a different vision of the world,
So they always provided contrasting solutions.
One day they both came at a same time, wanting to see their friend, the discussion were never pleasing when they collide together,
Seeing his friends fight he was already terrified, like a dog terror-striken on a night of cloudburst with thunderbolts,
He had many problems untill now and didn’t wanted more, so he yelled, he cried out loud,
“STOP“.
“Stop you two idiots, the only people i like to talk to are engaging in a meaningless fight” he yawped,
Suddenly he heard an unlatching at the doors and the doors of the confinement slammed open like a bolt of thunder,
“Shut the hell up” he yelled in annoyance, he sighed and uttered”the doctor is done with the patient you are up next” ,
Looking at the man sitting in the darkest part of the room and walking out the warder murmured “you are getting demented day by day”
“They are the one’s who are yelling I was helping them“,
“Okay, well you are the one who needs help, besides their is no one here other than you”
His both friends glanced at him and spoke jointly,
“He can’t see us, Johnny boy” he was in panic,
“You forgot? We are in your head dumb that’s where we live that’s where you sheltered us” saying this terrified him already, then they laughed untill their tears came.
Shoving his head in his hands he whispered “I am not mad, I am not crazy”
They decided to celebrate their two year’s of relationship in a restaurant,
He was ready with his surprise, so was she;
Before he could give his present, she gave hers first ,
“I WANNA BREAKUP”,
She said “Sorry” and left,
The waiter came,
“What would you like to order, sir?”
He looked at him and said,
“Chicken Biryani and Tandoori chicken please”
he thought for a secondand said,
“and a Beer too”,
He opened the present that he brought for her which was a box of chocolates, it said,
Farero Rocher
He smiled and whispered,
“Life is beautiful, let’s focus on chicken biryani”.
Thoughts in his head were his worst enemies,
So, his nights were always unpleasant,
Always just waiting for the sunlight to make its way through the window curtains and fall on his face,
One cold night he decided to go out for a jog,
So he ran, he ran a lot, he ran faster than ever he had ran in his entire life, he could feel the wind touching his skin and the blood rushing through his veins,
But when he stopped to take long breaths,
He suddenly realised he was right in front of a building, he reads the name and ‘BAMMMM’, there goes the flow of memories, right in front of his eyes,
Then his eyes rolled over to the second floor of the building, that’s where she lived,
His eyes were filled with hopes, possibilities, and ways to get her back but nothing that he could do now,
So, he sat across the street expecting that maybe she is watching him or maybe she wakes up and decides to take some cold breeze on those wintery nights,
The dogs were his companions when he used to wait for her under her house, so, they recognised him from a distance and started waving their tail and he sat there for a few more minutes spending time with his old friends and deep within he knew that he was waiting for her to come,
Suddenly he looked around him and realised that the silence was spreaded till his eyes could travel,
So, he thought he was the only odd thing in this darkness of the night,
He gathered all his emotions and took a deep breath and waved goodbye to his friends and started walking from there,
His friends joined for a while till the end of her street and then they saw him going back,
He continued walking for quite a distance and started running again, this time he ran faster and he felt things that he wanted to feel but he couldn’t, he felt that he is running away from the things he loved, running away from the reality, running from the world, running from the old him that he used to be,
He came home and felt that everything he had felt was on his head and he can get rid of those feelings if he wanted to and the run helped him to do so,
His other friend the morning sunlight came searching for his face to fall upon and he felt happier and relieved than ever,
He dropped his body on the bed and went to sleep with some loads off.
By —> K.B
He is unhappy in his life,
But he knew everything will be fine and spent days with smile.
His parents think, he is dumb, not ready to face the world, they yelled at him everyday for his every single tiny-tiny mistakes he made, he even got beat-up once for it, not just because he did something also because his dad was having a mental breakdown himself with different matters,But he knew it and never spoke a word in front of them and spent the days smiling.
His siblings, they were never too close to him but even they had a weird idea about him. Just because he laughed and made them laugh they use to think that he is happiest guy ever. They never knew the pain he goes through the day. He enjoyed there company and yet they made plans without him.
But he knew that he will meet them one day and make them laugh and spent days with a smile.
His friend’s were his best part for the rest of the day he knew that anything can turn bad but not them. But as we know life, it is never fair for anyone. So , even they did terrible things to him, which he felt bad.
But he knew they will be back after few days so he smiled and spent days.
He liked a girl in his college, she was his good friend. They shared a lot things, they did phone calls till morning. After 1 year he thought that this is more than friendship so he decided to tell her that.
He thought finally he is getting someone to talk to, someone to share things with, someone to hold hands, someone he can trust and share difficulties with, but ….
She was not expecting it so she refused and told him not to talk to her just because she thought he is a creep.
But he took time to heal from that and after many hurdles he said to himself and fooled his heart “You deserve someone better” and spent the rest of the days with smile.
Every night, he sat in a garden under the pleasant natural beauty of the moon. He looked up in the sky and saw the twinkling of the stars the best scenes of winter nights. He cried, and cried, and cried untill he felt that he is strong enough to handle the hurdles of another day.
Because he knew everything will be fine one day.
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
Spoken feelings 